I can get worked up over slight of things but not if I feel comfortable relaxed , so I just went with flow on with my packing at the end I was away for seven days so needed at least 6 days worth of vests , socks , boxers , shorts , creams , first aid , oh also my climbing equipment so I was pretty excited about going on my trip to climb on rock Psyched was the feeling to how I was feeling sleepless nights on over-thinking about performance on achieving my goals. when I was out there for my sponsorship from Dmm & V12 for gear I think was to much worrying about pleasing the sponsors but like mark said to me no pressure
but I do like try my absolute best soul heart into everything I do wanted give something back for all the overwhelmed response from my story's feed back that people seemed enjoy reading them well am glad you did cause when I sit read these things it's as if nothing clearly made any sense on what I said because come following day when everyone praising you about how well you done I completely forgotten on what I said but I suppose that's what autism dose it gets me down at times because try so hard on trying be like everyone else but seems as if each everyone with autism there brains react in different ways I guess I came out clueless kinda guy ha-ha not to worry
I am intelligent in other ways I suppose my knowledge has gotten better over years with understanding lot more as adult hood how I can describe its childhood when things are at their worst with trying to fit in with the world but it's not easy still in adulthood get down days more less everyday but I'll mask won't show people close to me that am depressed anxiety overwhelmed you learn live with your autism In end if you don't how you suppose keep on living . Anyway I got packed following day before going from help of my parents of course , so went sleep that day I finally got some sleep my mind actually shut off makes a change ,
So that morning I woke up had shower had double check I had everything so we then went picked Mark McGowan , John Churcher up then off we went we hit the road jack , so I was excited at this point my dad drove us to airport I was moidering mark all-way there but I think he just wanted to sleep but in end my dad looked at me said let him sleep , because I hadn't been on trip in long time so I was excited about hitting South of France ,
we stopped off at MacDonald had food then got in car couple minutes away from airport so we then checked in I was over the amount in my hand luggage 20 kg that got me frustrated in airport but I soon said in my head woosa woosa , not problem mark said put things in his bag then that was sorted , so we then went board plane had a Guinness before leaving , forgotten not flyed in ages so I felt like I was on rocking boat my head couldn't take it I was breathing in out trying keep calm but nothing was seeming help in till I listened to my techno that took my mind off being in air bought a wrap couldn't eat it asked air hostess for some tablets she said no they can't give them out so my headache got worse If I had a frying pan at this rate next to me would literally knocked my self out with it to get some sleep I wasn't use to flying in ages and it was only 2 hour flight anyway relaxed back in end ha ha , we landed in the beautiful astonishing place only see it was freezing so all that was in my head I can't wear my shorts vests now , it's only small airport but absolutely beautiful place paradise in summer from views of mountains , at this point I just wanted get into bed sleep my head was fryed from this migraine only to thought we met mark friend lovely guy Jon the person that we stayed with at his amazing Gite so got in his car all kept saying are we there yet are we there yet my head can't take this I felt not on this planet , 2 hours in car they said I could get my head down at the Gite I was like a zogg no communication what so ever , and next thing do you want stay in car while we go shopping the thought shopping , I had get my head down cause I was getting annoyed with my self , so we arrived at Jons magical Gite & I was like Bed bed yes finally , got my head down Jon wife got me some strong painkillers and man that felt great had about hour sleep the wounder on tablets can do after all that traveling , so went sleep , woke up still had migraine not as bad but had hot cup tea then chilled back , felt lot better went shopping got food from supermarket so social interaction went well from being away as well didn't once get annoyed that's first for me , guess it's cause you don't no anyone so don't feel need make eye contact or talk , got back to the Gite had some cheese crackers wine after all we was in France we cooked steaks pizzas had lovely rackclet more cheese oh & of course never in my life have I ever Eaten as much junk food at a crag while days we was rock climbing outside I can say am happy with the adventure I had out there met a wonderful family out there who were kind a great to have a chatt with so I thank them for the hospitality , hope return back there in near future to this time have better understanding with rock and not the confusion cause I did loose it with my self on not achieving what I wanted succeed but red-pointed 6A but not climbing 7A outdoor as of yet but hopefully after the new year i hope make progress with rock with out getting confused lets hope i can do this but suppose 6A outside on new routes is good that's a success just keep believing out there so that start I guess but man I missed the intensity at my local wall Indy the strong Boulder problems moves & of course beefy sounds ;) just training but still focusing on pulling like a bitch on rock and in door and the independence of it all being away was massive eye opener different world out there going on walks around the rivers and seeing loads lovely shires it was like hobbits villages ,, also want thank my coach for putting up with me while I was with him 247 cause I can drive people up & around the walls , I managed out there but had help but that what it's all about learning in steps this is just start of an adventure hope you like my blog post about climbing & well Beyond the window one love Jamie
