Stand by me

Stand by me 

Am i wired ? 
Yeah But so What ? Everybody's weird 

"Hi my name is Jamie 25 years old who has (Autism ) adult diagnosis, Child diagnosis d.a.m.p also in process on getting re diagnosis  now as adult , since i understand more stuff now in my life rather than when i was a little child not having understanding with anything at all before when i was Child,   I couldn't read or understand books or didn't no how to socialize with peers, but i have come along way through battling its not been easy for me, more case i cant write to save my life , I am always in strict routine with doing things and if am not doing them activities i have a Bad day and just shut everyone out like whole world but what has changed my life is Climbing with helping me with my coordination confidence  self-esteem feeling safe not having worry on what society classes everyone  I can't say on how much it's helped me with battles had go through in my life on being away at young age in school special needs boarding residential  hard for my parents but to me I thought It was walk in park still most kids be home with there family! I was in out meetings with doctors key workers on all kinds medication effecting my appetite my moods just making you feel what I call star trekked meaning by you are frazzled no communication not even function in your body  , so what climbing has done & is being with people who are like minded creative like same things of my special interests has helped me in loads ways with  working my brain a lot better understanding certain information being more focused with daily routines & more just everything in general with my life now as I hit 20 than when I understood loads things , but what am trying get across is if you teach autistic kid child in steps gradually he will find his path journey,   on living with autism don't make them do things there not comfortable in doing or forcing your how you grew up & parents  ideas on to them because they will get creative in stuff they feel happy in doing stop think & listen to what he or she has to say never no about the Autistic ways with life optimistic is the key  .. 

Also Things to do with Extreme sports i love outdoors environment , hiking ,surfing ,  cliff jumping everything with adventures you can call me wine Frodo . living on wild side 

Also like lots kinds of underground (60's 70's 80's 90's ) i dont like cheese or commercial but artist or musicians that  are fantastic i will buy there album only occasionally will buy a album , also into clubbing music  Techno, Trance, House, Hip-hop,  Reggae  D&B, Ambient , Opra , Jazz , Soul , Blues , Country ,   Music , Disney , Films Action,  Adventure, Romance , Chickflicks , Cartoons , Horror , Thriller , Family , Animation , Western , Comedy , Fantasy , Historical , Philosphical , Saga , Wildlife ,   Truestory's ,   Tv shows , History, Culture , Art , Drama , Science , Ancient ECt 

 I found  it very hard  & difficult to fit in with others when I was kid & peers when i went away I was in a dark place at age 12 years old to when I went boarding school when times were really hard tough. 

But it had changed my life from having the help I needed support down there  since the teachers at mainstream and at home in school didn't give a shit or  no how to deal with autism. 

plus one to one help connects in more ways with  the teachers  they get to understand you and  your self more than a mainstream Teacher.

Doctors saying you never be able ride bike go on pair skates well I was determined prove show the world wrong.

My achievements was been able to play Ice Hockey & Roller Hockey and i did done that for four years in a team as well so no one can tell you that you wont be able do things in your life , tried  playing football for a team but was all over the place couldn't get on with any my team mates cause they were just Judgmental peers .. Always struggled with everything i done. 

But now that i got older its better to talk about things rather than keep it all on your mind.

So express what you feel to others such as parents doctors about your lows and your highs , still get good days bad days everyday , but wont let it define me as person

To all that are struggling with things you have Gift at the end of day try new things on no matter what the outcome is , 

battle on through , Each goal you do is Achievement even if you don't see it at first,

 just wanted to share this with you all .. it might not make sense but i wrote it out in best possible way i could , to try explain my Story p.s Jamie" 

my world is differnt . 

I am what you call collective person only ones that no my interests are the ones that really listen , well the rest they ain't worrying or careing  about  & really don't no my personality character or interests as person in my eyes 

 Me at my  first BMC Paraclimb Comp!

Mark's story  as you see it was fantastic comp so we had celebrations on chardonnay 


Happy Go lucky go lucky

Coaching and climbing with Jay has possibly been the most inspiring climbing journey that I have been on for a while. Watching him face the difficulties of climbing combined with the other challenge that is in his life has been humbling.

In between, climbing sessions where he works hard at learning how to be calm clipping a quick draw on lead and not get frustrated, when he is learning not to think about the confusions of right and left and to try to slow everything down when everything is telling him to hurry, in between this we had a great chat about his life and mine.

To sit down and hear a young man with autism be open about the challenges it has caused him to just live and the methods he uses to manage the best life for himself and his awareness of his own bravery and that it has ultimately been about how he has chosen to face his autism and how the world looks at him as he looks back at it was amazing and has left me feeling pretty humbled about my own difficult childhood and challenges I faced.

He lead his strong ass up the steep wall of the Beacon today fighting every difficult clip with such determination and bravery when he had only just learned how to find a solution for managing the magnified frustration of clipping a rope through the quick draw whilst under the weird sensation of being on the lead was just inspiring for me. Well done Jay 'stomping' Owen!

My story to my coach

"My Joruney with my coach were do i start , How i met was bouldering at beacon climbing wall not haveing no clue how to do boulder problem so i asked someone for advice got chatting was very friendly helping me so i thoght yes took his advice then tryed that boulder problem falling over but saying to my self Jamie you can do this dont let nothing try stopp me i no it takes me longer to work things out and go over over in my head to understand But once i have that momentum on doing things it starts work my brain lot more. Haveing the abilty to be Training on my own other times was harder with out being pushed but sometimes i would boulder with Emlyn pushing each other and to me problems not easy its what your body and finger tips are use to plus doing moves right , with me i was falling all over place quadronation was all over the shop , one thing i never thoght to my self is dont you dare Give up on that boulder problem even if its pushing you to limits for example getting blisters each day use kill but got use to that feeling, then after think it was Year bouldering . I emailed Mark on coaching lesssons said to my Dad to meet Mark and come down and speak on my behalf since he is my next kin , to explain on my Autism on how it effects me with learning things doing things but he said he can help and met loads people in my life saying they Help and fucking toright he was Right , Being in my own world not about being differnt about understanding that person and i thank everyone i have by me every step way meeting great people enviroment on life its self i wont step my self into bad enviroment to cause Anxiety anxious feelings melts downs with certain peers or places or haveing mixed overwhelming feelings , But climbing has helped me loads with interaction socializing confidence has helped lot with climbing i say is medicine to me and it just helps with things i do to day to day life , and haveing Mark as my coach now he understands way i climb but not only that i have fully trust in talking about things that would never speak out only people close to me no what means lott as well , and much i am for typeing down my thoghts not so good on doing storys on my life , Climbing aspects helps me mentally physically but the Journey has helped loads still not end am still going have so much Determination in me and Dedication and help from my amazing coach Mark as well he's insperation on way he helps me with things we be chilled out mother fuckers in our sessions and pushes me to my limits intill am beasted and cant climb no more , that's what i like ill always push my self intill body cant take it no more and brain its self . 1st Achivement on climbing in Paraclimbing for catogory Autism won medal was so pleased got on the redwine chardonnnayy fantastic celebrations so again i thank my Coach and Gwyn his wife driveing down Manchester for Experienceing and being Inspired its self by watching all the other climbers on other abiltys was amazing , but Mark is still pushing me to my limits on climbing , campus board system board then going bolt to bolt 7A immense ill keep pushing as much body brain will take me , still have lot to be up against but i say for my self feeling strong , am keep going , if can over come lot Goals through out my life well am sure ill be able undertake these not end Jamie :------)"

Edward Scissorhands

Cheers from the Pyrenees!

Not only my coach but also great guy and who has had massive impact on my life and generally understands me as person &   my world the wacky kinda place it is cheer's Mark McGowan

The Mad Hatter

Have I Gone mad ?

Alice

"I'm afraid so, You're entirely

bonkers. But I'll tell you secret All the best people are



Well today i went beacon climbing after going sleep at 8pm then woke up at 1am then my brain was on rush dial i could not attempted go sleep because i was trying think of ideas for my book and also this blog i have done , talk about confused times man , so i done my story had good new's about it and well great feed back from mark him self also few people all over world are looking at the blogger well glad your keeping eye on my blog means so much to me , so trying get energy today was very hard we warmed up on some nice problems to focus we firstly done bouldering.

 Then i put my harness on went up 6b on auto belay man considering that went pretty well with how much i was lacking energy then up down wall in till i was major pumped out my skull me Mark was pushing each other and the intense sessions are back  i felt it today his coaching is remarkable i reckon there's high hopes  for  Mark as my coach also close friend the guy's a dude we just chill relax back stretching while hitting the pain barrier aha , done on sight on lead today with 6A yellow on new routes  the moves was powerful strong reason being its from the setter  Alex stone mason  ,but was lack of concentration today since got to  bed late i really need start my melotonin again it relaxed my brain to sleep well i have a new psychologist  to see to after the new year  very soon looking forward to actually meeting her as well now that there's more help available , so after doing few routes we then just done more bouldering , i actually was pleased considering how tired i actually was ,

Then we done slabs v4 managed it on 5 attempts but that's thing am not really debating my self on performance at moment as Mark says things will happen with out me knowing , had about 2 coffees some really nice mochlato ones as well with chocolate yum yummy , so then mark said will just boulder so we did and stretched zenith feeling was back while chilling back , not sure if am still there now am still really tired , but great session awesome day , now time for glass red wine Sto bevendo vino rosso acclamazioni amici drinking redwine cheers friends :) 

Not looking into a Camera with we are the three little Bears ... Autism

Once upon time liveing in my world were dreams can become real the journey that turns Mama Bears into Solid Grizzlies Autism
we all live in crazy mad world were its wacky place but also beautiful  imaginable creative this is my story from childhood to adult hood Autistics are just different. Autistics have their strengths and weakness, too often we miss the strengths and fixate on the weaknesses
People assume that Autism is just like the movie Rain Man well this is my story on my life with  being Autistic

This is start of my book am in middle of writeing its going take long time to do and am not sure even if it will get published , i need friends people who me no to write some things about the character i am in there wacky little world so i can type it into my story it would mean lot to me thanks ever so much one love Jamie

Chapter 1  Running  Wild  in The Thornberrys

Beyond The Window ... Trip to South of France

We're do I start well first off my trip to South of France was amazing experience packing my things wasn't & trying be organised was not so good after all found it very agitating  frustrating some calm mellow zen days through weeks before leaving & at home some aggressive arguments caused by confusion people that no me no I like take my time with things so I don't forget I need it be muscle memory in order for me do things on daily basis cause I like things be done three weeks before going some were to get everything in order.

I can get worked up over slight of things but not if I feel comfortable relaxed  , so I just went with flow on with my packing at the end I was away for seven days so needed at least 6 days worth of vests , socks , boxers , shorts , creams , first aid , oh also my climbing equipment  so I was pretty excited about going on my trip to climb on rock Psyched was the feeling to how I was feeling sleepless nights on over-thinking about performance on achieving my goals. when I was out there for my sponsorship from Dmm & V12 for gear I think was to much worrying about pleasing the sponsors but like mark said to me no pressure 

 but I do like try my absolute best soul heart into everything I do wanted give something back for all the overwhelmed response from my story's feed back that people seemed enjoy reading them well am glad you did cause when I sit read these things it's as if nothing clearly made any sense on what I said because come following day when everyone praising you about how well you done I completely forgotten on what I said but I suppose that's what autism dose it gets me down at times because try so hard on trying be like everyone else but seems as if each everyone with autism there brains react in different ways I guess I came out clueless kinda guy ha-ha  not to worry

 I am intelligent in other ways I suppose my knowledge has gotten better over years with understanding lot more as adult hood how I can describe its childhood when things are at their worst with trying to fit in with the world but it's not easy still in adulthood get down days more less everyday but I'll mask won't show people close to me that am depressed anxiety overwhelmed you learn live with your autism In end if you don't how you suppose keep on living  . Anyway I got packed following day before going from help of my parents of course , so went sleep that day I finally got some  sleep my mind actually shut off makes a change ,

So that morning I woke  up had shower had double check I had everything so we then went picked Mark McGowan , John Churcher up then off we went we hit the road jack , so I was excited at this point my dad drove us to airport I was moidering mark all-way there but I think he just wanted to sleep but in end my dad looked at me said let him sleep , because  I hadn't been on trip in long time so I was excited about hitting South of France , 

we stopped off at MacDonald had food then got in car couple minutes away from airport so we then checked in I was over the amount in my hand luggage 20 kg that got me frustrated in airport but I soon said in my head woosa woosa , not problem mark said put things in his bag then that was sorted , so we then went board plane had a Guinness before leaving , forgotten not flyed in ages so I felt like I was on rocking boat my head couldn't take it I was breathing in out trying keep calm but nothing was seeming help in till I listened to my techno that took my mind off being in air bought a wrap couldn't eat it asked air hostess for some tablets she said no they can't give them out so my headache got worse If I had a frying pan at this rate next to me would literally knocked my self out with it to get some sleep I wasn't use to flying in ages and it was only 2 hour flight anyway relaxed back in end ha ha , we landed in the beautiful astonishing place only see it was freezing so all that was in my head I can't wear my shorts vests now , it's only small airport but absolutely beautiful place paradise in summer from views of mountains , at this point I just wanted get into bed sleep my head was fryed from this migraine only to thought we met mark friend lovely guy Jon the person that we stayed with at his amazing Gite so got in his car all kept saying are we there yet are we there yet my head can't take this I felt not on this planet , 2 hours in car they said I could get my head down at the Gite I was like a zogg no communication what so ever , and next thing do you want stay in car while we go shopping the thought shopping , I had get my head down cause I was getting annoyed with my self , so we arrived at Jons magical Gite & I was like Bed bed yes finally , got my head down Jon wife got me some strong painkillers and man that felt great had about hour sleep the wounder on tablets can do after all that traveling , so went sleep , woke up still had migraine not as bad but had hot cup tea then chilled back , felt lot better went shopping got food from supermarket so social interaction went well from being away as well didn't once get annoyed that's first for me , guess it's cause you don't no anyone so don't feel need make eye contact or talk , got back to the Gite had some cheese crackers wine after all we was in France we cooked steaks pizzas  had lovely rackclet more cheese oh & of course never in my life have I ever Eaten as much junk food at a crag while days we was rock climbing outside I can say am happy with the adventure I had out there met a wonderful family out there who were kind a great to have a chatt with so I thank them for the hospitality , hope return back there in near future to this time have better understanding with rock and not the confusion  cause I did loose it with my self on not achieving what I wanted succeed but red-pointed 6A but not climbing 7A outdoor as of yet but hopefully after the new year i hope make progress with rock with out getting confused lets hope i can do this but suppose 6A outside on new routes is good  that's a success just keep believing out there so that start I guess but man I missed the intensity at my local wall Indy the strong Boulder problems moves & of course beefy sounds ;) just training but still focusing on pulling like a bitch on rock and in door and the independence of it all being away was massive eye opener different world out there going on walks around the rivers and seeing loads lovely shires it was like hobbits villages ,, also want thank my coach for putting up with me while I was with him 247 cause I can drive people up & around the walls , I managed out there but had help but that what it's all about learning in steps this is just start of an adventure hope you like my blog post about climbing & well Beyond the window one love Jamie 

If I Stay Halo - Ane Brun , Linnea Olsson

Climbing...

Climbing means to me about meeting like minded people who are  creative outgoing & who loves adventures while living like the hobbits we are who are helpful spiritual nature wildlife countryside artistic and helping others with autism for self-esteem builds trust confidence friendship travel a life on the rock trying to be  your hero cliffhanger