Collective....

How I describe, me being Autistic, is am collective, in things I like. I obsess, over majority, of amount of things. I have passions, desires, expectations, for lot of  things. That not many understand were i  am coming from & have strong beliefs, opinions, and my perspectives, and imagination, creativity is very high- and set-out i visual my life as pictures,  , I have serious meltdowns, if am feeling at my lowest, but if am in relaxed environment, am perfectly okay. if I feel provoked, I am not okay it  can cause me have serious problems, with society,& the  public. It all depends what state of mind, and frame of mindset, I am in at that moment.

 if I have generally lot things in front of me written, down I can remember things visualise what I have seen. 

But communication, in talking to people expressing, over is very hard thing to do for me . Also. i feel my characteristics are judged constantly is lot do with how I feel as well in society, if I feel unsafe I kick off only to protect my self, from being hurt by peers, individuals, but if am comfortable I am very relaxed as person. food stuffs can sometimes can be Distressed & texture with feel and touch to things , can be hard to explain over to someone . I can sometimes get the wrong end of conversations, clothing causes me major problems, at home and outside, I try overcome these things as much as possible, but some days can be at its worse . 

Were I feel down about my  life, so everyday is battle. But what I have learnt is not to take out my problems on people that genuine trying to help me . 

But at home I have sensory overload were everything hits me at once, i have  fits and roll around the  floor on really worse days. 

 I mask all i can  and have lots strategy's but sometimes you feel as if you cant be your autistic happy self in case people stare look and say what's wrong with him.  , All I can do when am out in big  wide world is overcome my challenges i face on daily basis in everyday life is  by being strong minded.   
 My issues  in public , sometimes all depends if your not provoked  by society. 

Sometimes when am at my worse   in my life  my mum dad  have to restrain me for not hurting my self. 

So living with Autism isn't all smiles as people see it . That's why everything is hidden every day is battle. 

But only way is overcome the bad days by fighting and finding solutions to the problems we face.

I see my psychologist, and she's amazing also i  Climb, & try interact- social communication,  
 best way possibly can. 

also I do lots mindfulness exercises that helps . But my  anxiety is getting worse and getting everyday is not helping my life  on being anxious. 

So from young age I was on all sorts medication  now I have said I'll try it again to see if  it makes me feel better, if it has  any side effects am coming straight off them . 

But climbing is medicine to me but cant always climb ;-( on my worse of days ,  hope this information helps , thank's for visiting my page   Jamie.

Living being Autistic

This is me Living with Autism, life can have its ups's &  down's. You can have good days, bad days,  But on good days you feel really high & hyperactive imagination,  creative, on your outlook perspective, on life. On way you see the world and not by no one telling you how to live your colourful rainbow world,   by  feeling,  good in your self , and around other people, peers, individuals, but on bad, days, you can hit all time low, were you isolate, your self, you feel really lonely, inside depressed, upset but no emotion shows just anger, hate towards your self, & people around you , Self-harm , head-banging against a wall , or scraping your head across the floor & a stone spiky wall,  chucking your self of the stairs  having fits , meltdowns , when people touch you think that there actually burning you but there just calming you down  ,  and having no understanding about little things in life , and self doubting your self if you said right thing in conversation , even thou the words are coming out and your speech is sounding okay to someone else , your then thinking should i said that always going into your head looking for answers,     on thinking how change your perspective, so people can understand way you see the world,  you could have 100's friends but everyday you feel as if you have no friends that understand,   , you feel as if you don't have any friends, even though you have lots behind you who are genuine and that  care , but it just doesn't feel that way  to me on everyday life , but you try see the bigger picture , go out smiling and overcome the struggles , but on everyday life you feel as if your left out , you feel as if  its hard to have conversation ,  if its not said in right context way , you feel as if there is no communication, on a conversation, and your then thinking are my boring that person on my topics , interests collections , so that makes you have bad day , but you just have to accept this who i am , i can keep fighting overcoming my goals , through out my life , and learn to accept my self and not let being Autistic defeat me , just embrace the beauty and uniqueness, for me to lead better mindful life. 

My life has not been walk in park,  i have had to overcome lot struggle in my life to get this far, on telling my story's . 

i find it so hard to express out-loud  , & communicate, with people, but from writing this tells others, and keep learning more about strategy's  so i can have better life , and Climb because that's what helps me the most , and being surrounded by lovely beautiful people , because  on the  good days things feel amazing , on bad days , i think the worse of things i hurt my self , self-doubt on trying to interact , but what need learn is everyone cares , and keep fighting the demons , and everything will be sweet daisy's.

(Why fit in when you were born  STANDOUT! Dr.sesuss)